Glittery Thongs & My Kids are Dicks

Do you ever just scroll through instagram and see the 18 year old lad in his bedroom telling you 

"We all have the same 24 hours in the day" 

Offering you life advice while they are still clinging on to their mother’s umbilical cord? 

Honestly, if I had a fucking quid for every time I heard this I wouldn't be sat here writing out this email.....

I'd be in the war room with the Tates smoking cigars and trafficking people. 

Everyone needs a hobby when they're corruption level rich right? 

As a dad of 2 young daughters, working 50-60 hours weeks

Building a business on the side

& successfully prepping for my first bodybuilding show

I know more than most, like fuck we all have the same 24 hours. 

(I did used to wear glittery thongs.....but don't judge me on that, I actually have a personality now)

All it boils down to is what you lack in structure, they lack in real world and life experience.

So stop letting these naive little turds try and make you feel bad or lazy.

I know I’d want to take my advice from someone that can change a nappy rather than someone who's only been out of nappies the past 6 months.

Maybe one that actually understands how hectic life can be?

A partner, a provider, not someone still getting pocket money

Someone that knows how it feels after the kids have been complete dicks at bedtime & all you want to do is crack open a bev on the sofa in your boxers picking whatever crumbs you can find in your belly button. 

Or results that go back built on actual experience, not the latest Tik Tok trend. 

You wouldn't trust a teenager with any other aspect of life, so why on earth would you do it with your health? 

The barely dropped bollocks are in your court.